WHEN WE’RE LOOKING FOR LOVE IT’S NOT UNCOMMON TO HAVE A SHOPPING LIST FOR LOVE…
A shopping list for love or must-have criteria or attributes for what we expect to represent the perfect partner.
It becomes the yardstick against which you measure all-comers, and reject plenty for not measuring up!
Often these are physical characteristics. Or they relate to financial resources. Of course, we all have our preferences. But a note of caution …
Too long a shopping list for love or detailed a list is a sure-fire way of seriously damaging your chances of finding someone who is totally compatible with more important measures.
Yep, physical attraction and not bringing a weight of debt with him are important factors.
But does it really matter that he is at least 5’11” tall?
Would you really not travel more than 20 miles if he was great in so many other ways?
I’ve worked with clients for whom this was actually a deal-breaker.
But do you know, that when digging deeper, this can be evidence of a defence mechanism at play?
Creating a shopping list for love which is an unreasonable and long mental checklist of all the things a potential partner must have can be indicative of a sub-conscious attempt to keep you safe …
…saying you want a new love but putting barriers in the way because of fear.
Be honest – is this the real reason for some of the impossibly prescriptive things on your shopping list for love?
Confidence for stepping out into the dating world, especially after heartbreak might be at the heart of your situation.
I’ll cover that soon.
But in the meantime, do check your mental shopping list and critically evaluate if all those picky details have a place there.
I talk about the relative importance of:
– relationship values
– shared interests
– physical attraction
I’d love to hear if you have a shopping list for love and you’ve now decided to relax your criteria!
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